On a snowy Winter day...

On a snowy winter day, I ask myself where you might be. And suddenly everything else is loosing it´s importants.
Where do you go, when you leave me? Why don´t you just take me with you, like you did so many times? 

I am just praying that the snow will melt and the memories of a snowy night will dissapear.
And on every snowy day I pray that clouds will hide the moon, so I know it´s not a night like this one which I painful remember.

Even if you came back, even if you promised that you will never leave me alone, I can´t hide the tears when the world is turning white. No matter what I do, I can not forget his one night. It was just a realistic dream, with a song which played endless and I didn´t know where the melody came from. And than, there were you, but you disappeared while we danced on a snowy field, where just the moon was watching us. You haven´t said a word, no goodbye, no "wait for me", no goodbye kiss...you just disappeared and I was alone, not knowing how to find back home.

When I woke up, I cried and watched the ring you gave me, for hours and couldn´t fall asleep again. Do you know, that I am wearing this ring since 12 years? How couldn´t you know. We met so many times after you gave it to me. It´s the only hope I have: That you remember me, that you remember the ring and the Person I dreamed of turned real. Finally, after so many years in which you tooke care of me.

And I believe I found you. Something inside of me tells me that it´s you, the man I met years ago. But I am not alble to trust this feelings on days like this, where the snow is covering the life like a cold shroud. To strong is the fear to realize, that I haven´t found you. To start searching again, not knowing if you stay a dream forever. But I will protect him, support him, so he has got always someone by his side and is never alone, no matter what happens. Because he gives you a voice, a face, all this what I couldn´t remember after waking up.
He is so similar to you, so I am sure you like him, right?

But not even his voice can make the memories disappear. So I am sitting here, watching the snow falling from the sky. The only consolation is a smooth and warm feeling around my neck and my shoulders, like a lovely hug.
It´s you who is holding me in your arms on this snowy winter day.

with love,

Kimie



see also: Moonlight